desprately resourceful

Its zero i don’t know what the fuck hour… i am immersed in what i believe to be the rem stage of sleep. trapped in one of the most breath takingly morbid dreams my subconscious could ever manifest when the hour arrives… the hour of revally(the bugle song that all American warriors live to wake up to). but we dont wake to the sound of the copper horn… we wake up to the spastic sound that can only come from a unknown wooden rod dancing around inside a tin garbage can… my mind falls through some black hole of my dream and snaps to reality. my bare feet are the first i can make out hitting the cold deck, but i am one of the last to come to attention. i will surely pay for this down the road of today.im barely awake and im racking up reasons to get smoked(the act in which a recruit performs P.T. individually devised to punish his actions). orders are being shouted out but i can’t silence my brain enough to come close to comprehension… the longer the D.I. shouts the farther my stomach drops near my bladder… closer and closer until they are spooning… “GO GO GO!!!!!!” is the first thing i make out clearly, and by the grace of god my feet and arms move as if they heard the orders my brain could’nt retain… as im making my bunk, the weight of my stomach’s earlier drop onto my bladder becomes to much, and my worst fear comes to grips with my mind… i have to piss! after i scurry to make my bunk as halfassed as could ever pass for exceptable . i report to my D.I. to beg in the proper verbal military manner to empty my liquids. he makes me repeat my self until my voice is all but a screaming whisper…im sweating in that cold way that you mistake as pleasure for a fraction of a second. my antics have created mass silent attention… no one directly watching, but no one missing out… i know whats coming despite my brave ego telling me it wont, and it cant… i have begun to go completely numb… my ears are ringing… my head is down and my eyes half open… i get visual confirmation before i ever feel the temperature change in my trousers… some of the on lookers have become more apparent but none of them blatant…

as my car comes up to the curb i put my hand on the shifter and time its movement into park as smoothly as a racer shifts into a turn… my fingers pinch the key and i take a second to feel the ripped up texture of the plastic butt… i turn the key to the off position and exhale to the timing of the silence. i listen to the sound my feet make as mynike’s hit the wet pavement . the wind pushes me back towards my car as i fight for my path to the door… here i stand in front of the electric gates of technology… before i can step in i breathdeap into my lungs a turn down my thoughts… i look down, half joking to my self, and check my khakis for a wet spot… i exhale all my insecurities and put on the face i want to be today. my foot crosses the metal frame that runs the length the floor…

a girl asked me at work today why i would want to join the Marines… i paused for a second and said… “I have some personal debts to pay…” (i ment to ad “to my self” but her face had already turned to confussion). i muttered my never minds and smiled to her as i walked away…

i dont know if i really beilive i have personal debt to myself, but i sure as hell feel it… maybe even a score to settle… can one serve revenge to them selves? would it be just as cold?

Published in: on January 29, 2008 at 7:00 am  Comments (4)  

bonus-eruptus…

im actually self diagnosing my self with mind-eruptus… its a terrible disease were my mind is trying to jump out of reality, right out my mouth!

which brings me to asking my self what is reality? I think its complicated really… i have a theory that we are basically each our own selfexsisting , self sustaining planets… stick with me here! on each of our own planets everything we think or say is reality cause there is nothing there to disprove it… if you dream something, while you are asleep you will feel the full grip of your own reality… you feel all of it to be completely true because again… there is nothing there to dispel you from the depths of your mind… until… you wake up! this is your mind, no your self sustaining planet barreling down on the one we call earth like a comet bent on destruction.

welcome to waking up on earth… you have just entered a whole new universe… a universe like this one completely filled with other planets, stars, and of course plenty of unknow… unexplored space. this is what you are coming to terms with when you wake up.

now onto the subject of human interaction and reality. taking my theory into play upon human interaction, your voice, your actions, what you do on a daily basis now becomes you as we know you… acting as the ambassador for your planet… and as you go out and interact with other ambassadors through out your day, you assume other peoples reality based immensely of there diplomacy…

you have woken up on planet earth.

Published in: on January 27, 2008 at 4:57 am  Comments (4)  

the words of your choice will end your life tonight!

so i started a blog so that i had a place to record some of the thoughts that run through my head and eventually get lost and forgotten in the depths of my mind… hopefully some of these thoughts will entertain people and possibly give insight into my madness…

some things you should know reading this… i am a drug lord by occupation so i really dont’t care about punctuation , spelling or any of these binding structures that slow my expression. i love … … says so much and allows you time to absorb things you read so mywriting will have a lot of … in it…

i hope your as excited as me to see what comes of this…

this is giggles the drug lord saying good day and good living!

Published in: on January 27, 2008 at 4:05 am  Comments (4)  

If the real thing dont do the trick, you better make up something quick…

so i just wanted to share a text conversation i had with someone by the name of Twofish…

twofish: what is your reality?

giggles: it would be hard to explain i can only be the embassador of my reality… you would have to ask the scribe or historian and there not here right now.

twofish: you lost your marbles in ten days!

giggles: I never had my marbles im just done pretending that i have them in this empty bag… atleast to u…

twofish: i think we have more marbles and the rest of them have empty bags. we are real. real real.

giggles: or they are to buisy playing with there marbles to ever look in the bag…

Human;interaction…

Published in: on January 27, 2008 at 4:05 am  Comments (3)